The woman who wants to give but can't
by upturned-octipii
Summary: "I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. You don't deserve this unfunctioning woman as a wife." Coronation street characters in a Dream team setting. Will Carla ever be able to give Paul the gift he so desperately wants, or will Michelle manage to ruin their marriage before Carla can explain what's wrong? Very AU and may feature hints of depression.
1. Chapter 1

This was the third test she had tried, yet the result was the same as all the others. What was wrong with her. This was supposed to be the one job all women could do, the one thing her husband wanted from her – yet she couldn't seem to give him it.

She had always known there was something wrong with her. As a child she was the poor, smelly kid nobody wanted to play with. As a teenager she was labelled the school slut, had a new bloke every week, but this provided her with much love and attention - something her mother sadly lacked. At sixteen she dropped out of school, and that's when she meet him, Paul Connor. The Paul Connor.

Paul was a rich kid. He came from a family of loving parents and two perfect siblings, Michelle and Liam. Some would describe the family as idyllic, while hers were far from it. Paul was seven years older than her but that didn't stop the pair falling madly in love. When she was age twenty, they got married and took a beautiful honeymoon break to Thailand where they relaxed happily for two weeks. When they arrived home they were hit with the news that Pauls farther, Barry, had decided to sign over his multi-million pound football club to his eldest son – Paul.

She was given everything she could ever dream of. Designer clothes, shoes, handbags, luxury cars, last minute holidays and a beautiful house. Paul was earning a fortune managing the football club and always took great pride in taking his wife shopping to spoil her rotten. He done it without the slightest hesitation and this made her feel even worse. It was the one thing he wanted, the only thing he has ever asked of her.

* * *

She walked into the house, quietly closing the door behind her. She didn't want to be heard, she didn't want to be seen, she wanted to be alone.

"Darlin', what's wrong?" Paul called as he caught glimpse of her storming up the large flight of stairs. Shrugging it off he assumed she was in another one of her moods and left her to it. "Remember we have that dinner tonight love, it's important we both go." He finished, before walking back into his study to continue working.

Slamming the door behind her, she let a few tears finally fall from her eyes. The doctors diagnosis kept running through her head. It disgusted her, made her feel like a failure. Opening her handbag she pulled out the small box of pills that she had been prescribed. She had been warned treatment could take months even years and it was crucial to have support from loved ones. But she couldn't face telling him, she knew it would break his heart. Opening the box, she probably pulled out the silver packet of tablets to examine it. Each day of the week was labelled across the top, which was followed by four rows containing small white pills. She had been told when to take the medication, but when the doctor was talking she wasn't exactly listen. Popping out the first pill she held the small capsule between two fingers. She didn't care much about the side-effects, in fact she didn't even bother reading them, before she swallowed it. She just wanted to be normal.

* * *

They were all sitting around a table in one of the restaurants the group frequently dined in. There was Michelle and Ciaran, Liam and Maria, Peter and Leanne and finally Paul and herself. These were the people she was closest to yet she would never call them friends.

Carla had remained quiet that whole night, her mind far to pre-occupied to join in the chatter. Though the bits she had payed attention to, she wished she hadn't. Liam and Maria had announced they were expecting a second child – a little girl they made sure to highlight. Michelle was complaining about the pains of carrying her fourth child and both Peter and Leanne spoke fondly of their only son Simon. She sat there quietly not sure what to say, Paul also sat beside her just as quietly his hand wondering up and down her thigh – it wouldn't take a genius to work out what he had planned for later. And then the conversation turned to focus on them. Paul spoke loudly, announcing to the world that they were trying for a baby of their own. She looked down, tears stinging her eyes threatening to fall any minute, Michelle's hawk-like eyes on her the whole time.

"I just need to pop to the bathroom. I won't be a minute." She spoke for the first time that night, Michelle was quick to follow.

At last she was alone, or so she thought. Leaning against the sink she again went into her bag to bring the pills out. Pulling out the silver tray she looked at them. Maybe if she stood here long enough just looking at them, something in her body might finally click. Sighing she opened a second pocket. Again she grabbed the small capsule between her fingers and was ready to take it, when suddenly Michelle burst into the room.

"So this is what your hiding from him ey?" She started. Carla should of known Michelle would take this the wrong way. From the very first day they meet, she had a hatred for her. She knew her brother could do so much better than the girl from the council estate, the funny thing was for the first time in her life Carla also believed this. "Do ya know how much he wants this. He gives you everything Carla and this is how you repay him?" Michelle continued, walking forward a few steps to stand beside her sister-in-law. "I knew from the first day you were trouble. But this Carla, this is horrible. Don't tell him you're wanting to try for a child, if you plan on staying on the pill. There's a name for people like you." Reaching forward, Michelle grabbed the packet out of Carla's hands, before she had time to react. "He deserves to know the truth.." Carla didn't know what to do. She was gone before she could do anything. "It's not what it seems." She shouted but it was to late. Michelle was gone, gone to tell Paul what she thought she knew.

 ** _please review!x_**


	2. Chapter 2

"Why Carla?" Paul asked as she walked through the front door. He was sat on a sofa in their open-planned living room with what she guessed was a glass of scotch in one hand. She glanced up at him for no more than a second before shrugging.

"It's not what ya think." She began, but couldn't find the words to continue. The whole journey home she had been planning what to say, she was just going to tell him the truth and hopefully he would understand. But standing in front of him, the way a small child might stand before a teacher, took all the words from her, leaving her to stand completely speechless.

After a few minutes silence he let out a quiet chuckle to himself, this of course made her jump on the spot. "It's not what I think. That's funny 'cause when people say that, it's usually exactly what I think." He started standing up to pour another himself drink. "Carla you want for nothing, I make sure of that everyday. But the one time I ask you, the only thing I have ever asked of you, you won't even try giving me it. What sort of love is that ey." He continued, gulping down the contents of his glass before slamming it down on the side table.

She stood watching him, she had given up on trying to hold back the tears instead letting them trickle down her cheeks. She wished the ground would swallow her up, then her and her useless body would be gone from him for good. He didn't deserve this, he deserved much better.

"I think it's best we both get some space from each other tonight. The spare rooms made up, but I'm sure someone would take you in for the night if you wanted. I honestly don't care what the hell you choose to do, but just try not to break anymore hearts in the process ey." And with that he walked away.

* * *

She had been up the whole night, just thinking. Her tears hadn't really stopped over the past few hours and she could tell her make-up would look a state. She was still sat in the dress she had worn to the meal and her feet still wore the shoes she was yet to remove. But for once she didn't care about how she looked, she felt she had no one to impress anymore. Paul had never suggested they take space from each other before and she was expecting the worse. Michelle would finally get what she had been dreaming about for years, and Carla would be forced straight back to the place she dreaded – the council estate. But then again maybe she was overthinking things, she usually did.

Turning her head, her eyes caught sight of the tablets that had cruelly been grabbed from her hands several hours ago. Paul had obviously had his hands on them to as the tray was now bent in places it wasn't before, making it stand in a somewhat awkward position. Reaching forward she grasped ahold of the pills. She hadn't read about the dosage but that didn't bother her. She would do anything to give Paul what he wanted. _Anything_.

* * *

She had managed to swallow her third pill that morning when she heard his footsteps walking across the hall.

"Still here then?" He called to her, as he bent down to collect the mail that had fallen through the letter box a few minutes ago. Smiling he picked up a letter addressed to her, before walking into the living room where she sat.

"Mrs Connor. I'm not sure that name suits you much anymore. Connor's don't lie to each other." He said, throwing the thin white envelope in her direction. Noticing the small medical stamp in the corner, Carla opened it as discretely as possible. She knew it was her results from the previous day, and she knew what to expect, but seeing the words printed in bold across the top bought tears to her eyes. It really was true.

Folding the letter up into a tiny square, she hid it in her pocket before standing up to leave. "What's that? More lies ey, maybe a love-note from a secret lover." Paul started. She just ignored him and carried on. She knew how childish he could be and today was obviously no exception. "I seen the stamp Carla, is you lover - a wealthy doctor ey? Is that the sort of fantasies ya like. Slutty little 'patient' with a rich handsome doctor." He paused for a moment taking in the women who despite all this he still adored completely.

"Fine. You want to know the truth. Read it." She snapped back. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out the tightly folded envelope shoving it against his chest, before storming up the stairs. She needed to be alone.

Unfolding the envelope, Paul muttered annoyance as he heard the door slam upstairs. He took a seat, pulling out the halved sheet of A4 paper - puzzled as to what it could be. Reading the words across the top, he felt his heart literally crumble - what had he done.

 _Diagnosis – Infertile._

 ** _Please review guys! Don't know if you are liking this story or not!x_**


	3. Chapter 3

"Car' please let me in baby" He called again. Paul had been sat outside the door of the bedroom he shared with Carla for the past hour. He had heard nothing but her sniffles as she cried the whole time he had been sat there. It broke his heart.

He had no idea she had been trying so hard, so hard she was prepared to go through treatments all on her own, just to give him what he wanted. He still had the crumpled letter in his hand, only now it was slightly stained by his tears. Tears he had shed after realising what he had done, how wrong he had been. He had tried phoning her doctor he needed to hear it from a professional. It still didn't seem real, she had never mentioned any problems before. But that was Carla, she wasn't one for complaining no matter how bad the issue was, that was one thing he admired about her.

At last he heard the door unlock and he saw her. She was leant against the bed frame, her hair tangled and face blackened by the smudges of mascara. He witnessed her curled up frame convulse on the floor as sobs soared through her body. He quietly walked over and sat beside her. "I'm so sorry princess.." He whispered wrapping his arms around her tightly.

* * *

"What made you decide to go to the doctor? Did you all ready know that you were.." He paused the word still seemed too difficult to say. "Had someone already told you, you would have problems?" He asked. They were laid on the bed together, Carla in-between Pauls legs, resting against his chest while Pauls arm was wrapped protectively around her, his fingers tracing gentle patterns against her arm.

"I had done a test every month for the past few, they all came out negative. You were doing everything right. We were having sex every other night, it couldn't possibly be you. I realised after the third negative test it was probably me." She sighed and pulled the blanket closer to her. "I'm not really normal. I don't y'know as much as other women. It's not once a month, it's more once every four months. It's always been like that, I just never thought it would cause so much trouble." She answered bowing her head in slight embarrassment as Paul held her tighter.

"So these pills from the doctor are they going to what, make you ovulate more?" He asked, his voice as gentle as it could be. He felt her shrug against him, but he didn't press her. He knew Carla and forcing her to talk was not the way to go.

"I stopped listening after she said it's highly unlikely I would ever conceive naturally. It all seemed so pointless after that." She sighed and took-a-hold of his spare hand, the hand on what he wore his wedding ring. She started at it, her eyes filling with tears as she thought back to their wedding day. She remembers the vows she made. _I promise to love and care for the children we will one day have._ "You're right y'know. I don't think I should be Mrs Connor anymore. What sort of wife can't even live up to her own wedding vows ey. I love you, but your family are right. You should find someone better than me."

Paul listened to her, his face now also covered in tears as she spoke so sadly of herself. His heart was mentally broken. He still hadn't digested the news of her infertility but to hear that it may be incurable set him back what seemed like hundreds of miles. "You're perfect, and I love you Carla." He mumbled against her head. "We will get through this baby, together. I will find you the best Doctor I can and we will find a treatment that will work. Please, I'm not ever going to leave you, understand?" She heard him and she nodded. She still blamed herself though, she still felt like a failure. She just wished she could be normal.

 **Sorry it's only short! I have been overwhelmed with all the reviews on this story! Thank you all so much I appreciate them so much!x**


	4. Chapter 4

"Morning sleeping beauty" Paul mumbled as he watched Carla awaken from her deep sleep. "Are you feeling any better today?" He asked referring to last night in which he remembers her falling asleep after complaining of a headache. She shrugged in response before stretching out. "Define what you mean by better. If you mean do I still feel useless, then yes I do. But the sore head, that's cleared up thanks." Paul sighed as she spoke. Clearly his messages insisting she shouldn't blame herself hadn't been listened to. "C'mon get up. I've got us a doctors appointment for after lunch, it's nearly midday."

"You mean you 'ave got me a doctors appointment. You have a football club to go an' run. Remember that little place." She replied sitting up against the pillows on their bed. He shook his head as he watched her. He knew this was her coping strategy, but he couldn't deny it annoyed him no end.

"Come here?" He asked placing his newspaper on the coffee table beside the chair he sat on.

"Why?" Carla groaned, reaching to the bottom of the bed to grab her designer silk gown. "Can't you come here." She continued, huffing as she placed it on herself.

"Because we both know if I come over there, neither of us will be getting out for the next few hours. Come on I just want to give my wife a cuddle while I tell her some things." He spoke, while waiting for her to come over to him.

"My oh my Paul, you are turning soft in your old age ey." She giggled as she walked towards him. "What's going on? The only time you have ever given me this much attention was our honeymoon" She asked sitting upon his lap. They both remained silent for a while, each thinking over different things before Paul spoke up. "Look I guess this whole thing has woke me up car'. I've not really been the husband you deserve. I've not cared for you as much as I should, I not given you nearly enough attention. I realise expensive gifts aren't always a substitute for proper love and affection. I'm sorry, I really am. But I promise from this day forward to change. I will spend more time at home with you, I'll let you fall asleep on me while we watch TV, I'll stay with you when you're feeling down or ill or nervous or whatever, I'll be by you're side."

* * *

They arrived back home, arms linked around each other, both with sadness plastered across their faces. The trip hadn't been as positive as they hoped, in fact it left them both feeling as hopeless as ever before. Carla had, had a scan and the doctor told them the tablets weren't working as successfully as they should, but the pair were to keep trying and see what would happen though it was unlikely anything would.

"I'm going upstairs." Carla mumbled, pushing Pauls arm from her body. She wanted to be alone, but she didn't. She felt as if she had completely failed as a women, but Paul was providing the comfort she desperately needed right now.

Paul sighed, he didn't know what to do. If it was any other women he would immediately run after them, but this was Carla and she was unpredictable at the best of times, never mind when she was feeling this venerable and useless.

His eyes followed her body as she walked up the stairs. He was just about to leave her, give her space when he remembered his earlier promise. "Carla wait." He called, quickly climbing the steps to join her. "C'mon I'm not letting you be alone, not when you're like this." He said joining her on the half-way landing as she broke down in tears. He didn't say anything, he merely held her as she cried away all the tears she could.

"Why me?" She sniffed, her body finally beginning to relax in the arms of her husband. She was tired now, exhausted even and was ever so pleased when she felt herself be lifted into the air and carried up the remaining stairs to their bedroom.

He helped her change out her clothes and wrapped her in his warmest dressing gown before tucking her into bed. "This isn't your fault princess. Nothing is." He whispered before lying down beside her, watching as she fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

" _Baby when will you be home?xx"_

The message appeared on his screen. Paul sighed, his day had been hectic; meetings, TV appearances, radio interviews, everything that could of happened today did. All he wanted to do was go home and relax, but looking at the growing pile of paperwork on his desk, he knew he was stuck here for at least the next few hours.

" _Sorry love, it looks like I'm going to be here for some hours more."_

Carla groaned receiving the message. She had been waiting all day for him to return. Annoyed she threw her phone the bed she sat on and focussed her attention to the other object in her hands, the one she bought only a few hours ago. She smiled looking at it, Paul would be over the moon with it, if only he was around to see it. Picking back up her phone she typed out another message.

" _I have something waiting at home for you.."_

Paul smiled as he checked his mobile. A million ideas were buzzing around his head of what it could be, but knowing Carla it was probably her latest purchase of incredibly sexy looking lingerie she had picked up on her latest shopping trip. Not that he could ever complain about these surprises.

" _Maybe I could leave the work until tomorrow then.."_

Hearing her phone ring as the message came through, Carla ran from the en-suit back to their bedroom, where she happily sent back her response.

" _Good choice."_

* * *

Carla sat waiting on the sofa for Paul. She still had the purchase in her hands and was thinking how best to reveal it to him, she had thought of many ideas, but the one she had in her head now seemed the best.

At last he walked through the door, suddenly she felt nervous.

"So then baby, what's the big _surprise_?" He asked walking over to the sofa to sit with her. He watched her closely, she seemed so happy over the phone but now she looked unsure, scared even. Stretching out his arm he reached for her face, where he stroked gently along her cheeks. "What's wrong ey?"

Shaking her head, Carla blinked before forcing a smile. "I love you.." She answered shuffling forward to plant a kiss upon his lips. "Is it cold outside? You're cold."

"Absolutely freezing my darlin', and the heating is going in that car. I need a new one." He mumbled smiling as she continued pressing kisses against him.

"Let me run you a bath?" She asked standing from the sofa. "You need warming up, I will not let you sit there freezing all night." Before he could answer she was already walking away to run it.

* * *

"What's that over there, in the bin?" Paul asked raising his hand from the bubbles and water to point to the small white bin in the corner.

"Mm?" She mumbled turning around to see what he was talking about. Paul had asked Carla to join him in the bath and much to his happiness she had agreed. They hadn't done much or said much, it was nice just sitting in each other's arms in the warmth of the bath.

"Oh that? It's nothing much just something I bought earlier." She answered settling herself back in the water. She had completely forgotten to hide that packaging and it nearly gave her game away, but thankfully Paul choose to question no further.

They stayed quiet for a good while longer before Paul once again decided to speak.

"You never did say what the surprise was. Will you tell me now?" He asked leaning down to plant a kiss upon her forehead. Carla sighed, her earlier plan had been abandoned when Paul wanted her to join him in the bath, maybe she should just tell him, get it over with.

"I'm pregnant" she mumbled barely loud enough for him to hear, but he heard alright. The words he truly believed she would never say, she had. He was god smacked, shocked. The doctor had told them both the chances were incredibly slim, yet here she was sitting before him, apparently with their baby now growing inside her. He was ecstatic, over the moon. He couldn't believe it.


	6. Chapter 6

His happiness was short lived.

He walked into the bedroom that night. Carla hadn't spoke to him at all that evening and he didn't know why. Instead she chose to lay curled up in bed pretending to be asleep. He knew from the very second he stepped in the house something was wrong, but no one would tell him anything. He gave up, he really did.

Carla sensed him standing there, leant against the door frame, his eyes firmly on her. She wondered why. She wondered why he bothered with her. She pulled the duvet closer to her body and sighed. The sheets were dotted slightly from where she had been lying for more than a few hours and her pyjama bottoms were stained, permanently stained. He said it could get heavy, but not this heavy. The white pillow cases were smudged with patches of make-up from where she had earlier broke down in tears and her body ached. Her heart especially. She clung to a now cold hot water bottle hoping and praying it could provide her with some comfort but it wouldn't, just like most things in her life it didn't seem to work.

She sighed he was still stood there, still stood just watching her. Couldn't he just leave her, to suffer in peace, alone. It's what she wanted.

"Carla what's wrong?" Paul asked. He was fed up, he had been trying so hard with her, so hard to make sure he was there for her. He was taking more and more time off work so they could spend more time together. But nothing seemed to work with her. The last few days had been wonderful. They had been out everyday shopping for their baby. It seemed quite silly, she was no more than a few weeks gone and they had already bought everything it needed.

He stood there a few more minutes but still she didn't respond. "I guess I'll be downstairs if you want me then." He muttered before walking away.

* * *

He returned a few hours later to much the same scene. It broke his heart to see her so upset over things he had no idea about.

"Can I get you anything? You must be hungry ey." He asked walking to sit beside her on the bed. She nodded and he smiled. At least this was progress.

"What is it you want?" Reaching forward he moved a few strands of hair covering her face. She looked so pale, so vulnerable. "Anything and I'll get you it."

Carla just looked at him. She wanted him just to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, even through it wouldn't. It couldn't be.

"Please" She mumbled. So helpless, so desperate, but for what Paul couldn't fathom.

"What is it ey?" He asked again, crouching down on the floor beside the bed. "Food, a cuddle, a bath, anything sweetheart."

"It's really sore." She groaned, her hands tightening the grip on the bottle beneath the covers. She looked at him, he looked concerned, but there was no need for him to be, the damage was done. It happened so quickly, so suddenly. All she was left with now were the memories of what could have been.

"What is it car', what's the matter?" He asked, so gently, so softly. He was worried, Carla never complained, never to him anyway. Yet here she was, apparently desperate for him to stay complaining of pain, he could only imagine must be unbearable.

"It's gone, everything's gone." She cried. Everything suddenly felt so hopeless again. The past few weeks had been a lovely insight into what it was like to be happy, but this was her life, her car crash of a life and nothing could ever remain pleasant. It was like a curse, the Carla curse.

"Carla what is it?" He sounded serious now. His expression had changed, no longer was it gentle and comforting. What was this cryptic code Carla was speaking.

"I'm sorry. It's gone." She whispered, tensing her body as another wave of pain coursed through her. She remembers what the on-call doctor had said at the time. The feeling of contractions was normal, it was her body rejecting and disposing of the foetus. The bleeding and cramping would last for a couple more weeks, but that again was also normal. There was nothing anyone could do, it was merely nature deciding the fate of her future. It was an unstoppable force, yet another tragedy she was forced to live with.


	7. Chapter 7

He had ran her a bath and washed the blood from her himself, he had ordered the maids to strip the bedding and change it, he had fetched her new pyjamas and refilled her hot water bottle with fresh hot water and now she lay against him fast asleep in bed.

It had taken a while for her tears to subside. It broke his heart to see her so upset about something so completely out of her control, yet something she still blamed herself for. He was devastated that their unborn child had been taken from them, so cruelly, so suddenly. He watched as she muttered and flinched against him and was pleased when she instantly resettled herself. Carla had always been an active sleeper. He remembers the first night they spent together many years ago and how he literally jumped out his skin when she started talking to herself. He never did tell her about these events though, it was his secret guilty pleasure. It was adorable and made him love her that little more every time.

Soon Paul was also asleep – his arms still tightly wrapped around her as they both slept. It was rare they did fall asleep like this, usually Paul would stumble in many hours after Carla had already drifted off and he would be confined to a small proportion of their large bed. He would never mind though.

* * *

She woke up in pain. She ached all over and felt so tired. She glanced over at Paul who still was fast asleep. She didn't want to wake him, she didn't want to wake him to complain over something that was solely her fault.

She felt dizzy at first as she stood from the bed, but soon she felt better and was able to carry on. It was completely dark when she reached the bottom floor. The thick curtains were drawn and all appliances switched off. She walked on quietly into the lounge where she knew Paul often kept a bottle of strong whiskey. She hardly ever drunk alcohol, as a young girl she had witnessed first hand what it could do to people and that was enough to put anyone off the liquid, but just this once she would allow herself.

* * *

The liquor burned as she poured it down her throat. It was strong and tasted vile. She heard it was a great at helping to forget things, numb pain and generally block out life and that is what she hoped would happen.

It was addictive; the pain, the taste, the feelings it provoked. She had downed nearly the whole bottle and just as she had hoped, her mind had blocked out everything that caused her distress. It was good, to feel this free of life, she could understand why people grew to rely on it.

She hadn't noticed the time, how the hours were quickly slipping by. Night was now turning to day and people were starting to awaken after yet another night of rest. Her body shivered in the cold crisp air, the empty glass fell from her hand and rolled across the floor to rest in a corner. She was still in pain, this was where the alcohol had failed. Her head felt like it was physically pulsating and her stomach ached more than she remembered it from several hours ago – this was the one agonising reminder of what was actually happening.

* * *

Paul could smell the alcohol on her breath as he crouched down to gently stroke her cheek. He wasn't angry about the state he found her in, he wasn't annoyed either. In fact he was rather impressed she had managed to stop after the one bottle, had he been in her shoes it would have been a very different story. He wiped his tears before covering her in the duvet he had earlier fetched. He had thought and grieved for the baby they both had so wanted but now would never have. He had spent the most time thinking of his wife though. He knew this was destroying her. He knew she was completely blaming herself for this, yet he knew it was completely not her fault. He would do anything for her to understand this despite knowing she never would. Bowing his head he placed a lingering kiss against her soft skin and watched and waited as she slept the morning away.


	8. Chapter 8

They sat in the empty football stadium together. Carla sniffled quietly as Pauls hand ran through her hair.

"You know, this isn't the end of the world love. There's plenty of other options to think about." Paul spoke, staring blankly into the distance.

"Like what ey?" She asked glancing up to him. "You heard what the doctor said, there's nothing more they can do."

"But Doctors, they make everything sounds so much more worse than it actually is. There are options babe, adoptions one, there's plenty more medication out there or there's even surrogacy if we want to take that route. Don't worry about it to much ey, we will figure something out." He said, his arm around her body as he planted a light kiss against her hair.

"But Paul, it'll cost so much. You'd be cheaper finding another, better, woman and funding a second wedding." She sighed leaning into the warmth of his body. "You don't deserve this unfunctioning woman as a wife."

"You be quiet. You're perfect Car', I would never do that." He whispered against her head peppering more kisses along her scalp.

* * *

"When ya mentioned more medication earlier, what did you mean?" Carla asked glancing up from her magazine to where Paul rested beside her. They had since arrived home and had already made it to the bedroom despite it only being the afternoon.

"It would be something to look into I guess. I have heard of something though, it's called IVF. But I'm not sure I want to put you through it, it seems a long process." He muttered in response, his hand resting against her arm.

"Don't worry about me darlin', pregnancy itself is a long process. Nine months of catering to my every need." She glanced up at him again, a wide smile spread across her face.

"I already do that." He joked, leaning over to place a kiss upon her forehead.

"What would you like, a boy or a girl?" She asked placing her magazine to the side before sitting up beside him. "Don't say whatever, cause everyone always has their preferences."

"Well.. I suppose a boy would be nice. I could train 'im up to be a footballer and then one day he could take over the club, just like I did. But then, it would be adorable watching you with a girl. I'd make sure to spoil her rotten just like her mummy." He smirked looking across at her. "I know you, you would spend all day dressing her up in the latest gear, you'd show her all about hair and make-up – which by the way she won't be wearing 'till she is much older!" He chuckled, continuing to gaze into her shining eyes. "A boy would be much cheaper, but the thought of watching you mother our daughter wins me over."

"Ey, whose to say she isn't going to turn out a right daddy's girl? I reckon she will ya know. Every girl secretly loves their Daddy more anyway. I mean after all, you're the one which the bank account rolling into the millions."

"One thing for sure is, whatever gender it'll end up being, it'll have me wrapped right around that little finger.

"It could be twins." Carla suggested, watching Paul intently for his reaction. "Or triplets. But why stop at three when we could have quadruplets." She giggled lightly as he shock his head.

"And you would be happy delivering all four in the end ey?" He joked, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist. "If you're sure about this, I'll find you a specialist. Someone who knows what their talking about."

Carla nodded her smile fading as the subject of their conversation became serious again. She shrugged and sighed, looking down to her hands entwined together on her lap.

"Yeah, yeah I'll do it – I just wish I could be pregnant now, I'd do anything to be like Michelle or Maria or any other normal woman."

Paul also sighed hearing her upset again. He wrapped his other arm around her body, pulling her closer to himself. "You know what they say, good things come to those who wait." He muttered quietly. "It will happen one day darlin' but until then we've just to keep doing what we're doing. I promise you, by this time next year you will be pregnant or even just given birth to our beautiful baby." He smiled gently letting out a long breath as she nodded slowly.

"How can you always be so positive ey. That's one thing I've never understood about ya." She replied quietly. "Whatever the problem, Paul will always remain positive."

"It's being married to you, brings out the best in me." He glanced down at her relaxed body now curled against his and pulled the duvet up to cover her. "It's okay if you want to fall asleep love, I know you must still not feel great."

"Mm, you're also good at mind reading, that's another thing."

"It must be being with you then. I was never good at that as a teenager."


	9. Chapter 9

"Pregnancy. It's such an amazing thing." Michelle chimed across the diner table grabbing ahold of Ciaran's hand to empathise the young child inside her kicking excitedly. "Can't say we've regretted one minute of it, 'ave we darlin'." She looked to her fiancé smiling happily as their three other children, two boys and one girl, ran, happily, around the huge room.

Maria scoffed, placing her soup spoon down on her napkin. "Blimey! I wish my pregnancies were as easy as yours 'Chelle." She said, leaning into her husband Liam as he kissed both her and their two year old daughter on the head.

"So what about you Birthday boys wife?" Michelle piped up turning the attention of the family to Carla. "Is their any news you would like to share?"

"We're waiting for the right time." Paul interjected before his wife could answer. "The club's going through a busy time right now and when it does happen, I want to be there for Carla and not being distracted by work." He squeezed her hand under the table, flashing her a soft encouraging smile.

"What is Carla? An invalid, I'm sure Paul she's more than capable of doing stuff on her own for once. After all you do, do _everything_ else for her." Michelle started, her eyes staring directly at Carla waiting for a reaction.

"You're just jealous my husband actually does stuff for me. Unlike yours who chops carrots for a living and thrives on getting his slutty fiancé pregnant again and again." Carla snapped back, her fork harshly stabbing into the piece of meat on her plate.

"Paul, you aren't actually going to let her speak to me like that are ya." Michelle hissed staring with hope at her eldest brother. But he done nothing, instead standing up to clear the plates.

* * *

"Paul." She called from the bathroom, holding the syringe closer to her eyes to read the volume precisely. This was her first one, her first injection. It was to go in her stomach the doctor told them.

"Okay?" He asked walking into the bathroom, but he knew what it was about. "It'll be okay, I promise." He said grabbing ahold of her hand.

"What if you put it in the wrong place?" She whined taking a seat on the sink unit behind her. "You've never done this before remember"

"It'll be fine, just don't think about that." He replied untying her silk bathrobe. "Just remember what this is all for Mrs Connor. A beautiful little baby." He took the small anti-septic wipe from her hand and began cleaning a small patch of skin.

"And what if it doesn't work ey, then it'll just be another waste of money. All this private health care Paul, it must be costing ya some." She winced as he stuck the syringe in. "You're meant to warn me when your going to do it."

"Look-" He mumbled pulling the needle from her stomach "- I am not fussed about the money. Car' cost isn't a problem, not right now anyway." He took a hold of her face in his hands. "I will make this happen. I will do anything I can for you and our child. I promise."

"What if I miscarry again ey, whose to say that won't 'appen." She shuffled to the edge of the unit she was sat on, wrapping her limbs tightly around Paul.

"You won't, I promise ya. You were under to much stress. Next time I'll take you away and you can relax for a few weeks." He smiled calmly, leaning down to kiss her. "It will 'appen baby, just give it time." He whispered planting another kiss against her forehead. "In the meantime, ya need to stop letting our 'chelle get on your nerves – she only does it to get a reaction, which is exactly what ya give her."

"She just gets under me skin Paul, she knows exactly how to do it. But for you, I will try." She sighed leaning into him, before together walking to the bed where the lay for the night.


End file.
